By Dr. Don and Debbi Dunlap
Pastoral Counselor
If parents consistently and biblically implement the rod of reproof, God will reward their efforts.
Family Counseling Ministries -
The writer of Proverbs 22:6 explains, “Rebellion is bound
up in the heart of a child, but the rod of reproof will drive it far from him.”
Christian parents often employ interesting interpretations of this verse.
They seem to think that it means, “Rebellion is bound up in
the heart of a child, but a few minutes in “time-out,” or a good discussion,
or a positive self-imagewill drive it far from him or her.” Another
take on this scripture is, “Rebellion is bound up in the heart of a child, but
lots of fun activities will prevent him or her from being bored, or getting
into trouble. If we keep our children busy, and distracted, they won’t have
time to disobey.”
Nowhere in the Bible do we find the concept of “time out” as a
disciplinary measure.
God’s promise to parents who choose to implement the rod,
as identified in Proverbs 22, is the peaceable fruit of righteousness. The rod
of reproof is effective only when parents apply it in a biblical manner. We
should not use the rod thoughtlessly or carelessly. We should take several
definitive steps when our children disobey. Before we correct disobedient
children, we should ask ourselves the following questions:
1.
Was my child being childish, or rebellious? (There is a
difference.)
Were my instructions clear? Was my child’s disobedience
the result of a misunderstanding? Was my child overly tired or physically
unable to carry out my command? Tiredness is no excuse for disobedience. However,
if we have kept a child up past his or her bedtime or naptime, for example, we
should consider that fact in our disciplinary decision. However, parents should
not tolerate rudeness or disrespect under any circumstances.
2.
Was my child
reacting to me personally?
Did I provoke my child to wrath by wronging him or her?
Have I been inconsistent in fulfilling my God-given responsibilities to him or her? Is my child reflecting my sinful
attitudes back to me? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then
we should confess our sin to the child and ask for forgiveness before
disciplining him or her.
We should be careful, however, not to give the impression that
we are apologizing in any way, for spanking the child. We are carrying out
God’s command each time we apply the rod of reproof for rebellion and
disobedience. We are responsible, however, to apply it appropriately.
When we neglect this step, we cause our children to miss
the convicting, cleansing power of God’s rod of reproof, because they are angry
and bitter toward us. After we have repented of our sinful attitudes and/or
behavior, our children are more emotionally and spiritually receptive to us as
God’s instruments of correction in their lives.
Dr. Don
Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral Counselors in the offices of
Christian physicians, has conducted over twenty thousand appointments during
his ministerial career. His counseling practice includes adults, children and
families in crisis. Dr. Dunlap is committed to facilitating a network of
telephone counselors. His goal is to provide help for the many people unable to
meet face to face with a competent Bible-based counselor. For a complete
library of Dr. Dunlap’s articles, indexed by topic, go to Family Counseling Ministries. You
may also make an appointment for personal telephone counseling by clicking on Family Counseling Ministries.
Family Counseling Ministries is a Christianity.com
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